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Dating After Divorce-Some Things to Think About |
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Submitted by Pamela Adams
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If you are recently divorced and are thinking about entering the dating world again there are some things you need to think about. Let's face it, a divorce can be a tramatic experience for all those involved and jumping into the dating scene can be more than many divorcees are ready to deal with. The only one who will know if you are truly ready to start dating after a divorce is you, but here are some things to consider before you go on that first date.
1. Are you ready to date after your divorce? This is where you have to take stock of your own emotions and what it is you are looking for after getting divorced. Only you can really answer this question but something to think about is why do you want to start dating again. Are you lonely and think that dating again will help fill that void left by your ex-spouse? If this is the case you may not be ready, because the person you date may not fulfill your expectations, particularly if you do not know what it is you want out of a new relationship. If you look at it from the point of asking yourself what you want from a new relationship you may find it easier to make a decision about dating after your divorce.
2. What's your confidence level when it comes to dealing with someone in a dating relationship? For many people just getting through their divorce is rough. You have to ask yourself are you ready to deal with someone on that emotional level again. One important question you have to ask yourself is are you confident enough in yourself that any let down or rejection during your foray into dating will not damage your emotional state.
3. What kind of person are you going to date? Your tendancy may be to try and find someone who is the complete opposite of your ex-spouse. While this may sound good if you think about it it's probably not a good idea. Why? You were attracted to your ex-spouse for a variety of reasons. Because your marriage didn't work doesn't mean that you didn't like some of the things that attracted you to your ex in the first place. You need to accept people for who they are, not who they remind you of.
4. Be prepared for let downs? It will be hard not to compare anyone you date to your ex-spouse. It will make it even more difficult if that someone you are dating seems to do some of the things that your ex used to do that drove you crazy. Realize that most of the time they will be unaware that they are doing something that reminds you of your ex-spouse. If you really like this new person in your life give them a chance, because what you see and think may not be what they intend for you to see and think. It is hard for them to overcome the demons of your past relationship if you do not give them that chance.
Don't be afraid to enter into the dating world after your divorce, but at the same time you need to know who you are and have the confidence to find what you are comfortable with when it comes to dating. Trust yourself to make the right choice and chances are you will thrive as you begin your new life dating after divorce.
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