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The Struggle To Socialise For People Who Stammer |
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Submitted by Consuelo Acosta
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If at times you find going out and socialising a bit of a choir, spare a thought for people who suffer with a stammer. Stammering is a much wider problem than many people care to imagine and the affects of having a stammer can be very damaging.
Most people who stammer would love to have the confidence and overall fluency to speak much more than they actually do in reality. Take for example a social situation where the person who has the speech impediment has been invited to the local pub to spend a Friday night out with his friends. Firstly if this evening has been planned for a number of days the stammerer will more than likely have been worrying about this night for some time, possibly even losing out on some important sleep. This is because people who stammer can at times find it quite difficult to socialise.
During the evening itself one his/her friends may ask him/her, how their week has been. The person who has the stammer has plenty that they would like to say and may have some very interesting news/stories to tell, but more often than not will simply reply with a one word answer such as OK. This can make the stammerer look like quite a dim, boring or shy person where in reality they just did not have the self-belief to say anymore. The person who has the stammer is left feeling really awkward and full of guilt as they know that they should have said far more than what they did.
At the end of the day there is no real point in going out with friends if you are not going to converse in a proper way and for this reason many people who stammer like to stay in and will tend to decline many social offers. That is not to say that they are happy to stay in but that they feel that this is there only option or best option at least.
It is not of course just the general chit chat with friends that is the problem for people who stammer, when they go out to socialise with their friends. Having to order food and drinks can fill many people who stammer with dread, meeting new people such as the friends of a friend, can be very difficult. These new people that are introduced tend to ask lots of questions such as where do you work? Many people who stammer hate being asked these types of direct question as they feel like they have been put on the spot and it also makes them feel very much under pressure. The more pressure, the more likely it is the stammer will rear its ugly head.
Another example would be a person who has a stammer who goes to play football with his friends, I will call him John. John loves to play football and always talks very well during the game as he feels like he is in his element and is very relaxed. After the game most of the players go for a few drinks at the local bar, John however decides that this is not really for him and goes home. This is a typical situation where a person feels comfortable and able to speak fluently in situation A but feels that situation B will probably result in them stammering as it is a totally different social situation. John in this example feels that he knows what he is and isn't able to cope with in his social life. He is happy to play football but refrains from the football chat that happens in the bar afterwards.
If you are a fluent person, stop moaning about having to socialise, you are one of the lucky ones, so go out and have some fun.
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