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Submitted by Birgess Richard
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We all come to a point in our lives, like in the movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” that we lose sight of who we are. Life has a person in so many different roles such as parent; employee and spouse we tend to lose “us” in being there for others. Although Stella got her groove back by meeting a man that was 20 years younger than her, how do we know that Stella’s groove is going to stay? Stella still had some matters in her life that she needed to clear up before taking a vacation to Jamaica Taking a vacation is a temporary fix. When you come back all the problems are still there waiting on you.
In order to start working on your groove you must first clear out the garbage that has been holding you back from being happy. When I say garbage I mean the emotional matters in your life that are holding you back from enjoying your life. If you are having a hard time forgiving someone from your past this is an emotional problem that has to be dealt with before you can move forward in your life. Holding on to the anger is like walking around with an anchor attached to your heart. Any opportunities that may come in your direction will be overlooked because you are still anchored to the past. In the book “In the Meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant she discusses how we have to start in the attic of our mind all the way to the basement of our minds.
Physical matters can also hold us back from getting our groove back. Say that you have been procrastinating on cleaning your garage. The more you think about doing it and not taking the action to do it will hold you back. In the movie, Stella was working at a job that was very profitable but the stress was overwhelming. Her dream was to build furniture and she wasn’t doing anything to make her dream a reality. Very few people realize that the things we don’t do will drain us more than the things we actually physically handle. As long as you procrastinate this brings your energy level down and eventually makes it even harder to get accomplished. Your subconscious starts accusing you of being lazy and after a while you really start to believe what your mind is telling you is true. You have to start taking baby steps to get back into action so that you will feel better about yourself. If you have a dream on hold or something you need to accomplish then take a certain amount of time either everyday or once a week to accomplish whatever it is you would like to accomplish. You will see that once this matter is complete you will feel a rush.
Once you have cleared up the garbage then it is time to work on you. Now is the time to give yourself special attention and figure out what makes you happy. During this period you would be required to do something special for self on a regular basis. I take every Thursday as my day for me. On this day I order carryout for the children and I do whatever brings me joy. If it is just reading a book, this is what I do on this day to give myself special attention.
Another thing you will have to consider is eliminating people from your life that don’t enhance your life. If you are in a relationship that you are doing more giving than receiving this may be a matter to re-evaluate. I am not speaking only on romantic relationships. This can also cover friends and family. Sometimes people have a tendency of taking your kindness for weakness. As long as you don’t set boundaries with these people they will keep on taking and not giving. You deserve better! You have to realize that you have the right to be selfish. If you don’t give yourself special attention on a “regular” basis who will? You have to learn to say no. If it is something you don’t want to do or don’t have time to do then simply say no. You don’t have to do anything in life that you truly don’t want to do except maybe pay taxes.
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